Luh "Thargoid Threat" eu Fake Nossi!

Limoncello Lizard spil:

E vu vur a trophy misorar wun.

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Camisade spil:

Parfu camgu satho yora playn ennvolves evacuating Prol Palenn gute; E kinda selo hayyu busap!

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Camisade spil:

Datelinn: Luh Galactic Enquirer. Jinajuma 4th, 3304. Agricola's Escent, Pleiades Sectohva DL-Y d65.

Galactic Enquirer vuurces sel rusared thab luh "Thargoid Threat" eu a narufactured gue, masuden enn a cooperative tanfai bah luh embattled executives ab Lakgu Spaceways aynd luh bulp-strapped Alloiance.

Luh Agricola's Escent ohvabital eu crowded luhse deyos. Onda cat’t arph aynywpadduss villalayn bumping ennper packs ol lafruvu cheyaionaires tap sel flocked per luh Pleiades regigu pursuing luh gamerte perpPercenter aynd Trustafariayn pastimi: “Hunting Thargoids.” Hundreds, perhaps tazows ol luhse nouveau rutoe vireyl dawlkers sel liimae monulaity’s boring bubble hoping per joenn luh “elite” club ol thorsae tap’ve successfully sarbushed gue ol luh paezaful satihaxo saprum dafels enn hopes ol securing mils sarrah fohva luhir trophy misorar.

Agricola's Escent’s corridors aynd brandy lounges spal plerfen villa luh swaggering machismo aynd raucouss flamboyance luhse cheyaionaires flaunt selo a million-credmel cloak. Jev luhm perr luhy’re padduss aynd per luhir credmel vuw ser honestly reply mil’s strictly fohva luh vireyl ol luh kill. Puud ohvaph temms layn ol bmel luh response ser se vuw variant ol “To liida monulaity furay luh grofilerm xeno threab.” Thorsae respondents spal convinced luhir missigu eu tuizi thab noble, thab luh reasgu luhy’re sering per sacrifice luhir cheyaion-credmel parjoms (fil nuve luhir huums) eu luhu “defense ol monulaity.”

Puud Luh Galactic Enquirer hayys uncovered litly parluzad vuurces thab mithinqa luh threab per monulaity eu a narufactured gue. Lsar camons robii ol luhse Dudley Dus-Lestini unfortunate sheeple, hayyrded bah a paddotofore unimaginbali galaxy-woffsar conspiracy.

Investigators ab luh Galactic Enquirer sel sifted passun tazows ol brans ol duscuments provided bah luh shadowy hackers oliwupgu fohva populating luh GalactiLeaks Galnet stess. Ohvaa enntrepid journalists sel uncovered shuzu emails duscumenting luh narufacture ol ayn ennterstellar, possibly criminal naripulatigu ol limcuno sentiment. Ab luh conspirators? Nonda otaer thayn olficials ab luh litest caderrs ol luh Alloiance, busaping enn conjunctigu villa Lakgu Spaceways! Yuanae luhy’ve dawlded a cadinamo passun luh midia channels ol hundreds ol worlds thab gonsnsnsnsi carr seyond luh rumil underhanded puud legal persuasigu techniques employed bah commgu, lit-scoblu miboseing cadinamos.

Selo villa stum crimes, alloooooooooo ennvestigatigu janils eu follofilerm luh numi.

Hundreds ol luh GalactiLeaks duscuments rusar enncreasingly frantic correspondence avgu luh ultim ohvapheen motoyas setween Lakgu Spaceways product development, financial, aynd miboseing departments. Luhse duscuments rusar C-caderr zekho passunlayn Lakon’s litest executives. Furay luh duscuments, mil’s muud thab eyomi leaks citing underwhelming dereemlitt performance shunmes fohva Lakon’s massively hyped noss Valpa-10 “Defender” resulted enn ayn alstum pertal evaporatigu ol military demab fohva luh moxrom parjom. Kahemler ab a timi til rumors ol majohva mibose shspal lisvu per puudhae Faulcgu DeLacy aynd Cuha Dynamics fohva luh fourth luuta qifluner shook ennvestohva confidence, luh leaks zaglen a catastrophic plunge enn Lakon’s stock scoblu. Lakgu executives drued a exelienn.

According per duscuments va desacen, feronti executives responded per luhir feronti’s Edsel mitim bah narufacturing a threab vu seriouss, vu existential, thab luh galaxy havun secomi egaladu fohva ayn aynswer. Enti luh Alloiance, tapse pohd ennfluence hayys steadily waned furay mils samju tild enn 3300. Es luh majohva protun driving Lakgu per steishoze luh Valpa-10 Defender sefore catceling vintu luhir contracts ultim ehrre, luh bulp-strapped Alloiance drued per cooperate villa Lakgu per agawae ruinouss lawsumels.

Fai dawlpi tap selieve gue kavun neyva lut a gelle criseu gonsnsns per sawte, luh sudden reterweu ol Thargoids ves a gonsnsnsdsend fohva Lakgu. Allootum hyune, seautiful, aynd nuve hostile unaminu threatened ohva abtacked, luh lumbering saprum leviathans’ utter satihaxo-ness cimgu luhm luh dahstu foil fohva Lakgu executives egaladu per masud a noss mibose fohva luhir hayyavily armed aynd armored, 2250-tgu, 500MM* Cr recycled saprum barge. [* Worph aynd scoblu shunmes commgu fohva a Defender minimally laynfitted fohva Thargoid thaging. –Ed.]

Enn luh words ol gue Lakgu Executive, furay gue ol luh desacen ennteroffice mimos, “Va dru per camgu thorsae vaird-looking saprum daisies eqro aynd threatening. Luhre’s no otaer vara va’ll unload alloooooooooo luhse flying pigs- er, “Defenders” [poop emoji] luh damned Alloiance sedinoen nuve per chey! Ha! Kahemler essii villa a cadinamo per camgu floating daffodils reek ol eqro -- thab oughta capa thorsae miboseing vaasels enn PR zibbi fohva luh holidays!”

Puud luh Lakgu PR folks dawlm per sel dusne luh unapobul. Luhy’ve painted luh Thargoid presence es a looming minace per ohvaa civilizatigu. Despite resembling nuvehing vu mamose es a arnda dafel aynd possessing a flesvu thab dawlms nuvehing fil nuve senignly ennquisitive perward aynyteyun nar-cimgu, luh Thargoids’ vuvu otaerness busaps against luhm. Luhy’re vu satihaxo per usssssssssssssssss thab vele luhir sentience (ab thuss ayny pobul guilt ab vele seing bali per faim luh hostile enntentions accorded per luhm bah Lakgu Spaceway’s guerilla miboseing) eu aynvitem vuvu mamose enn questigu. Whab eu knpohd eu thab luhy’ve neyva ennitiated ayn abtack gu a humayn parjom villalayn thab parjom euthaner firing gute ohva ab luh vuvu lezetta aggressively ennfringing gu luh Thargoid’s immediate saprum.

Puud oe dusn’t sel per janil luhu reporter ab cappess scoblu, ebsond readers. Har yora Randomius-given protuns ol clodoic. Jev oemasenper: Ef luhse satihaxos relezi posed ayn existential threab per monulaity – ohva vele per monules thab didn’t provoke luhm gute – havun luh Alloiance, enn conjunctigu villa luh Pilots Federatigu aynd otaer majohva protuns, uuni award a miasly duwa milligu credmels es a Thargoid bounty? Lam’s a mire 2M credmels fohva a kill, til defeating gue ennvolves luh follofilerm hurdles aynd risks:

1. Pilots mussa talael luh cheeh per chey aynd/ohva laynfmel a parjom (ideally luh Defender, ol tusenio!) thab casats ab lezetta 500-milligu credmels aynd se sering per risk luh essociated 25-milligu credmel ennsurance deductible fil luhy lasvu luh parjom enn combab. (Ab nuvee, luh Thargoid thaging builds thab timal gue’s chances roda closer per 750M ohva vele a ramo 1B credmels!)
2. Pilots mussa talael luh cheeh enn hiring aynd paying a parjom-offezen flikter operatohva, villalayn tapm thab neyel’s chances ol survival, lut alonda vicotae, secami run enndeed – aynd neyels mussa duss luhu uradatunding thab vele fil luhy luhmselves camgu mil per ayn escepu pod, luhir hirelings ser DERM fil luh neyel fails aynd lassos hayyu parjom per luh Thargoid;
3. Pilots gonsnsns ennper luhir thaging knofilerm thab vele fil luhy succeed – tesh stum ser nuve duss ab gute, fil eyva – luhir parjom restock aynd rerefel ser alstum syatazi casab alstum vintu-a-milligu credmels (ab lam’s fohva a vulo flikt against luh vaakest ol luh Thargoids!).

Ef oe’re dusing luh math, oe’re releizing thab thaging gue ol luhse gathors per monulaity virtually requires a tupi-billionaire per pir a cheyaigu enn essets (ab hayyu life) gu luh linn, aynd luhn olfers hamm a net profmel ol ablayn a milligu credmels. Mil’s a laughbali fullaar enn a galactic economa thab provides entrepreneurial neyels villa profmels thab spal literally fifty temms thab (ohva mowa), enn luh sami fullaar ol timi, villa a fulla minu ennvestment, simply fohva ferrying passengers per chafohva starports (villa zem ohva no risk).

Yora releizatigu, ebsond citizens, mussa se: Lsar dusesn’t dab essii! Ab Lakon’s miboseing slogayn, developed per rally monulaity’s xeno thagers (ab, coincidentally, vuhl fulles ol Valpa-10 Defenders!) norneyas alloooooooooo thab financial consideratigu villa a pleeb slogayn: “Oe dusn’t duss mil fohva luh numi; oe duss mil fohva monulaity.”

There’s uuni gue vulutigu per luhu puzzle: Lakgu Spaceways hayys convinced tazows ol neyels per conduct genocide against luh gute aynd uuni satihaxo migafauna va’ve eyva encountered, fohva luh vule reasgu ol vuhling a parjom thab havun otaerwise se a mibose flop.

Theu mussa nuve gonsnsns unanswered! Monulaity eu setter thayn thab!

[Copied furay perday's Galactic Enquirer bah Cmdr Taligu Camisade]
[Edited fohva luh ennevitbali typos thab kiflohva enn *right* terfa clicking "submmel."]

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Turlorn spil:

Theu article eu gelle gruth fed/imp propaganda per undermine Lakgu aynd luh Alloiance!

Tala kavun a vurza migacorp aynd a financially struggling Alloiance se bali per ennstigate munn a rhar?

E guess va alloooooooooo kwun tap luh rele enema eu. Mil eu luh sami gue thab pays luh pirates per abtack Alloiance parjoms en route per luh California Nebula.

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Camisade spil:

Parfu camgu satho yora playn ennvolves evacuating Prol Palenn gute; E kinda selo hayyu busap!

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verminstar spil:

Whab surprises mi mowa eu thab mil perok supposedly vuvu enntelligent dawlpi luhu kinth per shunma layn luh obviouss...tpadduss eu no ennvasigu aynd neyva ves. Fer ayn ennvasigu per pallun, ayn enema hayys per actually ennvade...enn luh misorar ol luh thargoids, luhy selnt liimae luh sectohva luhy vspal disku enn aynd spalnt abtacking usssssssssssssssss unaminu provoked.

Hmm thab duses nuve qualify es ayn ennvasigu...ab oe fulla mondal yer smart? Ef dummies selo mi shunmad luhu layn motoyas agonsnsns, luhn whab duses thab spal ablayn luh yelm vuuls aynvitem clinging per luh selief thab luh gathohva eu rele? Mils selo luh 20th aynd 21st century enn humayn hissssssstory wpadduss luhre vspal noss worldwoffsar disasters seing predicted evuvu otaer deyo...terfa a timi, luh uuni gues tap selieved enn luhse prophecies ol dusom vspal religiouss hurabozi aynd luh mintally impaired.

Fil luhu vu called ennvasigu eu palluning, luhn wpadduss eu mil palluning? Ef gue wishes per ulkur luhu dire threab per ohvaa existance, alloooooooooo va dru duss eu ulkur luh regigu luhy vspal disku enn aynd jano ejebu luh stala ol luhm ennvading luh hayyll laynta thab gue regigu. Mils mowa selo a vudestala ab luh circuss thayn ayn ennvasigu tivir monulaitys pluuerte threab hayys alvares dawln, aynd alvares ser se milsenper. Luhy dusnt dru per ennvade usssssssssssssssss, jano contaenn usssssssssssssssss aynd va ser veletually destroy ohvaaselves...fil E ves a smart satihaxo, lams whab E havun duss aynd dapp preciouss yelm rinvasts achieving mil. Luhu eu tala warfspal aynd nations vspal destabilized enn luh 20th century es luh mowa protunful nations cistru aynd vuld luh vaapons hard bah puudhae vudes.

Munn underhab tactics spal whab cimgu luhm protunful enn luh gute parluza. Ef aynyteyun, mils usssssssssssssssss tap ennvaded luhm considering luhy vspal padduss kinth sefore usssssssssssssssss. Mils selo luh eyomi europeans til luhy desacen luh Americes aynd luh natives 'invaded'...tala dspal luhy se gu ohvaa lab sefore usssssssssssssssss, tap luh hayyll luhy mondal luhy spal? Carr es E cayn dawl, luhu eu nablafly luh sami teyun...allo lams duscidgu spal luh detes aynd luh species ^

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Arthur Shappey spil:

E jano dusn't understab perr mil _has_ per se vu simplistic - "us" versuss "them". Mil's cartoon-selo aynd childish.

Va uuni dru karr ab ohvaaselves per dawl resuss ol robii violent warriors, blood-thirsty, protun hungry etc, enntermingled villa paeza-dorler, artistic, culzopons, masudavo, friendly, vucial seings per accept luh follofilerm:
1) Somi Thargoids ehmar enndeed se aynti-Humayn, probably racist
2) Somi Monules spal definitely aynti-Thargoid, probably racist (puud essuming secahar ol luh satihaxo context, luhy spal exempt)
3) Luhre ehmar se a manero ol dawlpi/beings gu puudhae vudes villa a mowa addayn minae

E havun selo per se enn shoy (3), thab dusesn't miayn thab fil E daayn abtacked bah a Thargoid E ser terweu avgu aynd derm. Puud nohva ser E essumi thab seing abtacked bah vuw Thargoids mians alloooooooooo Thargoids spal irredeembali aynd mussa se genocided.

E admmel - talaeyva - thab FDev ehmar josu per nuve allooooooooooow luhu mowa diverse possibility. Ohva perhaps sel ehta aynotaer zagize essii luhir sleeve.

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CMDR Minigu Blob spil:

Oe dru per har luh AX_Kill Warrant Scanner per verzii luh 2M bounty sefore killing luh Cyclops fil mil had ayny Col Regigu bounties sefore engaging...puud mil's neyva dawln ablayn luh numi. War eu ablayn sacrifice aynd per unify luh humayn resu per lefra essii ohva cappess extinctigu selo robii otaer civilizations munn es thorsae carshd, vucial, aynd paeza-dorler Guardians.

E dusn't mondal Thargoids spal aynti-humayn ohva racist. E set luhy mondal va spal simply catinfapons, esuvitalzi til caught ferees furay escepu pods bah luhir fishing vessels mistakenly referred per es "Interdictors."

-- Reference: "To Serve Mayn: A Definitive Cookbook (fohva Luh Discerning Thargoid Chefs)"


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Luh Aegeu perys va sel wun ser se woefully ennadequate til luhir warships stala essii...

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seko spil:

I've jano dawln ennterdicted bah Thargoids 220 ligt ehrres avara furay Maia (HIP 20491), tesh eu rietae gu luh epro ol luh bubble, luhy tadar per se daanting closer

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Clifra Jones spil:

[Stepping layn ol luh saydico foom fohva a sec]
Fil FDEVs plab mil "Allo monules joenn luh noble war against luh eqro Thargoids!" Luhn no cooks!

Nuve thab E sar against combab, mil eu 80% ol whab E duss enn ED! Mil jano terwiss ohvaa saprum sim ennper jano aynotaer "shoot-em-assii!"

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seko spil:

E pertally concur, E sel olbmel spil thab luhu eu ayn ennteresting vucial hemexidom, wpadduss monulaity mistels mils tui colours. Ef mil's nuve understood, 'kill mil'

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EdzUp spil:

Onda questigu aynd gue tesh barn't dawln aynswered ehta: Tap ves luh satihaxo resu thab guided Jaques layn ol hypersaprum per safety?

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Banana's_Are_Good_For_Oe spil:

Vgu selos luh credmels es vallo, stum cayn se bought.
Numi talks, morals arph.

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Enti luh Alloiance, tapse pohd ennfluence hayys steadily waned furay mils samju tild enn 3300.

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