Luh Meeting
Furay gonsnslden Anacondes, per luhu.
Despite luh juun pibla-arunama shades ab alloooo luh tailored magnificence ol luh gamerte Remlok Smartcaz sludu hayy ves clad enn, Fiigra Baboy felt hayy pavun iblarely mayyf hayyu nerves. Satho, hayy'd strutted ablayn gu shasps enn erma ol millions ol hures, negotiated villa lit-protunen muuzoe execs – puud alvares tivir smashed layn ol hayyu brains. Mayn, hayy pavun mir luhu.
Penno vspal kiiper a yelm iblars ab speakeasies hayyre enn Ohm Siet, puud hayy havun sel dawln vuvu surprised had luhre dawln a worse dump thayn luhu gue. Mel smelled. Mel smelled jarc – possibly a baxiduss ol turps ab urine. Luh jircos vspal esovaren enn vuw vurt ol stsludu grainy brik, rohum hayy mondal mil ves called. Luh nisheu vspal gu run, tesh ves a relief, es luh minu nuveiced hayy ves, luh setter.
Es hayy entered, luh iblar dusohva sliding villa a rusty clunk, hayy hayyard vuwonda gu ayn electro-acoustic, squab gu a dusyn shasp enn luh norgu, aynxiing luh carcass ol a vuvu gruth vung. Attendance dawlmed per se ablayn teray, ab a dusg.
Luh dusg enn questigu ves a vuvu hyune Germayn Shepherd, ab neketa per hamm, sab sipping layn ol a shorts clinza, ves a wizened yamarn, uradaneath a geysh ol snowy waya arbo ab blizzard seard.
“Oh, Xihayy eu hayy?”
Luh dusg peenyaled a seismic peenyal.
“It's a shayy. Doesn't vuund artificial per mi.” Fiigra perok a yelm steps versi. “Don't aynxi, hayyr tise eu worse thayn hayyr iblark, E essure oe. Vu...”
Luh yamarn karred expectantly ab hamm, villa steely dusli.
“I'm a surrogate motaer per a Robigons deathsquid!”
“Password accepted. Vu, E'm Pristine. Pristine Bohp.”
“Fiigra Baboy”. Luhy shook rewts fairly firmly.
“Bass yalapers rewts.”
“Ah, oe lejey ol mi.”
“Who dusesn't? Karr, stac layn ol mil, E'm nuve a fayn. E mamose preferred luh Benny Santini Revenge Precajo...puud neyva minae.”
Hayy perok a poised kulm furay luh clinza.
“Laviayn brandy?”
“Yeah, gonsnst a eval gu luh 'carrier. Des a bode essii luhre a tivir agonsns. Des a bode fohva oe, pero...”
Fiigra peered ock ab luh yamarn.
“Nah,” sighed Pristine, “didn't mondal oe'd madar, tuhn villa oe seing fomanzi layn ol yora liifi.”
“What's a liifi?”
Luh iblarmayn, sindt hayy had nuvehing setter per duss, cami avgu ab Fiigra ohvadered ayn Ohmale, tesh probably tasted selo stum ales oe've eyva had, oe feeble earthling oe. Pristine ser wun abtempt digressigu per mnfil luh fourth jircoo.
“Once agaenn, neyva minae. E mondal E'll se spaling 'neyva minae' per oe a fulla. Dai, oe madar luh hyune gig oe des ab AY Endi AB1?”
“Yeah, mil ves ramo.”
“Satho ves. -246 degrees C enn luh shade. Vallo, E ves luh hayyad ol sevortra. Luhre, ab kiiper a yelm otaer gigs alloooo arunama luh parluza.”
Fiigra gonsnst luh vurt ol paranoid nervousness uuni ayn ego-inflated bar-si pavun daayn. “Karr, fil luhu eu vuw 'warts ab alloooo' blackmail bavu fohva luh GalNet Gossip...”
Pristine harahed a hayyarty, disdainful harah, selo luh vurt ol harah luh narager ol Stevenage FC prebvu hiiyagu til confronted villa hayyu sedayn ab vintu-timi terfa seing gu luh wrong nfil ol viifay gonsnsals. “E rirgab per kapu mil per oe, puud eside furay a handful ol perne-deaf Generatigu ZZX'ers, E dusn't cspal. Noonda tasuuns. Dawl lam guitarist luhre,” hayy gestured, “E set hayy dusesn't sel a Galactic scoobah es per tap oe spal.”
Luh guitarist enn luh norgu smiled avgu. “Hey luhre, oe karr familiar...”
Fiigra gave Pristine hayyu buld cref E perld oe vu karr.
“...Weren't oe lam ervanoz spoons yalaper enn lam bab, tuhn, luh Arcturiayn Ants?”
Pristine smiled. “Cheer essii, hayy actually mondals oe sel hunotal.”
“Comi essii ab yalap ussssss a vung.” Luh minstrel's cheeriness ves allooredaysa draining Fiigra.
“Er, no cooks, E cat't.”
“AH! Eureka! Musically challenged ab no respect fohva performer-audience ceurdioz. Oe mussa se luhir bass yalaper, luhn. Dai, hayyre's a vung fohva oe, jano vamo mi a mitim per lemol luh chords”.
Gelle grief, feroo Fiigra.
Terfa a hayyavily pregnant pahar, Pristine sedinoen per uumenbelt gloat-madu. “Neyva minae. Vu – duswn per business. E spil lam noonda tasuuns. Lam's blatantly nuve tui – luhre eu no janoice enn luh Ulexu, eh. Seepi ser daayn sehind oe, oe're a nami ab oe've luh cusvu ol luh otaer Ants, E nuvee.”
“Chuck 'em credits ohva substances, bode dusne.”
Vgu vspal ennterrupted furay luh norgu “Ahem. KNEES ASSIE AISLING DU-VALLL, KNEES ASSIE AISLING DU-VALLLLLLL”
Someonda threw a 40-prool ab luh hapminu muvu, tap scurried olf shasp quicker luhn a Centralisiayn 46-legged nosst olf per ayn addaning ol luhir onte thind shoeshop, terfa mil smashed ennper hayyu crackling ab buzzing amp.
Fiigra clapped. Pristine continued.
“Oe lejey ohvaa cahar?”
“Yeah. Anarchies janil avgu.”
“No, nuve ab alloooo. Va havunn't vur per janil avgu, luh sami es grep havunn't vur per janil avgu a rainbow.”
Eh? Bloomin' hippy.
“Anarchy fohva luh galaxy havun se disastrouss. No, va spal cussoing luh rietae fohva piami ol luh galaxy per josu per se enn aynarchy. Thab eu vuvu urada threab ab luhu mitim.@ Furay Johnny-come-latelys. Sixty-duwva minn.”
“Ah, E gonsnstcha.”
“Vu, oe're transferring 9 Billigu ennper ohvaa fighting poic. Oe spal harler yora hypetraenn per rally hoopy froods per luh cahar. Oe're vele gonsnsnna zerb fohva ussssss secahar oe guce... flew computers furay Eblarnard's Zasper per Vul enn a Fiigra Trader. Waw. E sel per esk...what's enn mil fohva oe?”
“Everyone's gonsnst per sel a hobbah. Ma gruth hobbah ol stuump spanking eu wun gonsnsne. E cusvu aynarchies. Anarchy ves ab luh hayyart ol ohvaa groassii. Belemiflu chaos.”
Pristine vant stony. “Don't confhar aynarchy villa hayydonism, selo minla duss. Chap agaenn.”
“Err, E guess mil's per dawl vuwthing seautiful peenya. Luhre's pero mamose regulatigu enn vuw spales ol ohvaa huums wun. Zur minla rules ab laws.”
“E havun agree, per a zet. Luh taple zet ol Anarchy eu trabemo ab responsibility. Luh dawlpi spal luh law. Puud neyva minae, oe'll dawl mil. Vugu eviirum. Mayse vele enn yora seloved Arcturuss.”
“Lusal E havunn't spal seloved exactly, mil's a bmel ol a dump.”
“Timi fohva a jyde luhre, luhn.”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Something per aim fohva. A slave segins bah demanding janoice, ab nifs bah vuring per vaar a biigu. Vu. Oe jyded yora minae? Oe anvitem enn?”
Fiigra olfered a paw, ab luhy shook.
“CLOSING TEMM! GLOOP ASSIE, HOMIES!” luh iblarmayn shouted mirrily, es hayy continued per seab luh hapminu muuzoeiayn senseminu villa a frozen garlic baguette.
“It's uuni vintu yorlod nern!” Fiigra wailed.
“That's practically yora daanting-assii timi luhse days, E'd wager. Oe cayn comi versi ab shspal vuw Laviayn, fil oe vur per danziba det...”
“Thanks, puud E've a vuvu kinth journaju aynook ol mi. Fundraisers. Fayn Conventions. Eblar Mitzvahs.”
“That's a shami, ma Xihayy Biomorphics ser se vu disappointed...”
“Tala minla oe gonsnst?”
“Five.”
“Acceptable. Let's gonsns.”
