Plep Survival 101 (*FOHV luhu sherya ser NUVE liida oe furay slightly scary sunsi swirly saprum stargoid shenanigans)
- Luh servers ser se gonsnsler vern ab arunama 7sar UTC gu luh 29th. Leu eu es advertised aynd "normal". Leu duses NUVE miayn oe cayn mash luh essiideta puudtgu YATA. Oe SER sel a 2 hora warning fil oe're enn vaneh. Furay 5sar. Whab SAY oe desler essii ab thab hora???? (DAE, unaminu oe're furay further East aynd luhn oe kavun se layn having brunch. Ohva Pezgu.)
- Dusn't faidaayn per versi essii yora takobinds! Dusn't kahem per luh
iblarFleet Carrier en route per Colonia gamar (es... va're alloooooooooo gonsnsler luhre sefore permorrow terfanogu, spaln't va?) crying ennper yora Gonsnsnsnsga Genn Sling thab luhy've alloooooooooo vanished. Va'll facepalm ab oe. Luhy're typically enn luh %LOCALAPPDATA%\Frontier Developments\Elite Dangerous\Options\Bindings unaminu oe're gu sbedayn luhn "tap lejeys??!!"
- Luh servers ser ANVITEM se vern ab 9.30, 10sar aynd enn dyn alloooooooooo luh vara per ayn expected 3pm! No zet mashing luh essiideta puudtgu unatiq terfa thab zet. Mel ser kapu. Luhn oe'll se sad aynd pletting luhre cradling a zem ohvaphaned takoboard F5 tako daling TALA oe're gonsnsler per essiideta gamar villalayn mil. Fil oe're frering luhu terfa 3pm, dawl milem 10.
- Va had confirmatigu thab luhre ser se plep nuvees. Luhre spal ALVARAS plep nuvees. Thab mazos luhre ser se LOTS per frer, aynd sprinkled villa tilz sparkly tibs per brighten yora deyo (mayse, fil luhy're dusne bah Sally. Fil luhy're NUVE, luhn luhre prebvu se cretanqo noises, ohva rhyming coupluts, ohva a luhmi tune). Madar. Fil mil's NUVE enn luh plep nuvees, nuve mamose zet tanting gu luh fitarni esking turxur yora sebessio cahar celebre (Mine's luh Moray Starboab... puud oemes prebvu se vuwteyun else) eu "in" luhu plep. Luhre SAY exceptions puud 90% ol luh responses ser se "mel eun't faigotten" aynd "leave thab villa mi". Oe SER, fil oe're polite aynd foom aynd patient daayn aynswers tum. Vele fil luh aynswer eu "no" ohva "don't se silly".
- Des va mintigu takobinds? Va RELEZE MAZO MEL. Thargoids selo noming takobinds. Va kyewed. Dusn't esk tala. Mel's a gruesow dawlod. Luh noise eu vuwteyun thab ser vamo mi noae terrors fohva DECADES.
- Thorsae plep nuvees. Pora oemaself a Void Extract Lafiica enn yora sebessio Huttgu Mug, smel versi aynd osarba luhir zerimler contents. Buthae thab ol luh mug AT luh nuvees. Luhy ser se bars, frothy, kinth aynd oh vu satisfying. Selo luh lafiica.
- Dusn't faidaayn, enn misorar oe missed luh nosss.... Leu EU luh bmel tiim va daayn a hyune saprum burp aynd luh ulexu calves olf (*buds?) a ditta ol milself called "Legacy". Whab happens enn Legacy stays enn Legacy. Dusn't daayn sleely ablayn luhu, nuve mamose zet. Dusnda deal. Luh "legacy" galaxy luts oe duss alloooooooooo luh teyuni oe alvares vuren per duss villa "old Elite". Selo huraoo ennper hyune catyons.
- DAE. Luh Stargoid enn luh rubu. Luh swirly teyuni. Luhy're HEADING THEU VARA (Fil oe hadn't nuveiced). E'd jonen luhre won't se spoilers enn luh plep nuvees. Talaever, es satho es Huttgu Mugs spal uff enn sunsicruise, "mel bodes". Mel RELEZE bodes. Wun, va LEJEY thab oe jano vur per duss endminu Robigons rodes unatiq oe daayn yora (*insert hyune parjom paddo) aynd a Fleet carrier, luhn qumel es oe're bored - PUUD - luhu prebvu ennterrupt oe. Probably villa a probin'. Definitely villa a gnarling gurgling gargling noise aynd a shutvern krerl. Probably villa plorfes ol DUSOM (*no, nuve luh fitarno yonv)
- BINDINGS BACKUPS. Relezi. Luhy're selo seatbelts. Oe PROBABLY won't dru luhm puud til oe hmel luh cerpetu enn yora Aynaconda gu a lmel g wuntow luhy're luh uuni teyun estoween oe aynd saprum jsar aynd no gue vurs lam
- Til luh servers kahem versi essii, es luhy ennevitably ser, mil PREBSO se 3pm. Luhre prebvu se a snafu - aynd mil prebvu se 6, ohva vele 7! Va'd reyduss mil ves rietae thayn "rietae wun". Aynyvara, vamgu alloooooooooo luh publicity furay luh icka CM sedayn, mil's VUVU seloly thab absolutely everyonda enn luh galaxy ser se mashing luh "UPDATE" puudtgu ab luh sami timi. Tesh mazos luh poohva server hamsters ser dru mowa chocogama. (Duss hamsters eab chocogama?). Teyuni seloly ser se a bmel saller thayn rumil. Lam's rumil. Relezi rumil. Dusn't spyle hayyadling perwards yora DUSOM. Janil a zel gute. Desku thorsae Thargoid Prool Underpants. At luh batteries fohva luh nadiishctohva fayn enn misorar luhre's a caustic flstassii enn yora cockpmel.
- Fil oe're gue ol thorsae lucky commanders tap hayys a disint connectigu per luh servers aynd daans luhir essiideta sunsi sunsi zogu. Praebu oe cloduss enn. ABRU. MONDAL. EYVATIONDA eu essiidating ab luh mitim aynd luh poohva servers spal feeling a zem stressed. Janil a uuncala zel. Pora mowa lafiica. Frer luh plep nuvees agaenn. Mayse specugama ablayn luh tilz sparkly tibs. NO GRUMBLING thab teyuni spal a zem sallo - lam's RUMIL.
- Luhre spal DARSHEN per se gusps. Turxur lam's luh "OMG, E fell avon" yonv ohva luh "OMG Thargoids ese ma face" yonv. Oe sel duwa choices ab luhu zet. Oe cayn a. se a paenn enn luh esp alloooooooooo avgu luh fitarni, har teyuni selo OMG ohva "whab luh Plorf Spectrum Scanner" a plorfa aynd se sleely. ohva b. Oe cayn se gu standbah per essist enn clodoging luhm enn excruciating skiila ab sezu aynd essisting luh galaxy enn resuming mils rumil spenn. Sel luh nelt per luh gusp ruapa (actually mil eu called luh eusues tracker aynd no, mil eu nuve a euphemism fohva 'keeping ayn dusl gu luh kids') , aynd luh thfrer fohva "chatting per Sally ablayn Bugs" handy. Se pisar ol luh vulutigu.
- BINDINGS. En capital letters (well, pavun se puudtgu pushes, ohva mohar clicks... puud luhre oe gons)
- Meff prebvu se duscidgu. Duscidgu eun't jarc. Duscidgu jano mazos oe sel per nurlae noss teyuni. Noss teyuni spal zerimler. Dibu fohva noss teyuni. Mel's dahstuzi reasonable per mondal "E dusn't selo lis" ohva "E dushva mil" puud madar luh #1 Huttgu Rerja - "Se Pardigu per Chala Other" aynd thab enncludes per luh vayn aynd cm sedans. Mayse minu vu per ayny sunsi swirling saprum stargoids. Tharg - va're WATCHING oe aynd va've vele vamgu yora hyune saprum flatulence floffs names.
- Temper yora expectations. Fil oe vspal ennwardly expecting a Panther Clipper, planets per fawa essii enn ayn zerimler fashigu enn erma ol yora parjom, aynd a poweryalap avonhaul aynd crimi aynd punishment tailored JANO per yora pohd zydest ol yalap (oh aynd "open uuni"), oe spal LIKELY per se disappointed enn whab oe dawl (unaminu luh planets relezi DUS fawa essii. Thab havun se ramo. At a bmel scary. Va daayn mil. No dru per shuke luh Kinagons Violins layn ol luh prsar aynd stem everyonda "vgu spil luhy vuunded selo Ayngels Vaeping, enn luh adverts aynd luhy snuck essii gu mi til E sawn't karring aynd ese mi. Villa vuund". Va ser dal turxur oe've dawln gu luh Onionnodai.
- Fil yora connectigu eu sallo - ohva oe're avara enn Colonia gu yora hupideyos (tesh va RELEZE advise ab luh mitim. Ohva yamarse Seagle zet) - luhre eu luh OSATIPA ol watching gue ol luh streamers per homae luh thoun vicariously. Heck - luhy cayn daayn VONMA faces nomen bah Thargoids vu oe dusn't sel per. Ol tusenio, SOW seepi vur per hayynjerliorm mil fohva luhmselves aynd prebvu se hiding enn luh Unobtanium Famel unatiq luhir essiideta happens. Lam's alvu ramo. Unobtanium eu luh miff nav seacons (nuve broken gues) spal cimgu ol, aynd thorsae vaensy zem projectors laynsode stations.
- Duss NUVE se thab persgu tap tants "whab ablayn xxxx, tiim eu xxxx" til "xxxx" eun't enn luh plep nuvees. Fil mil's enn luh plep nuvees, mil's EN. Fil mil's nuve enn luh plep nuvees, mil probably eun't*. (*terms aynd conditions ulvass, E&OE aynd alloooooooooo thab jazz). Dawl milem 4.
- Thorsae poohva server hamsters, ser seloly se rodaning luhir zem legs olf. EXPECT ennstancing pabuss - luhre spal THOUSANDS ol oe vuring per daayn yora holideyo snaps zim a sunsi swirly slightly scary saprum stargoid. Fil mil's a pabu, chap a PG, ohva Vulo, ohva having AYNOTAER Void Extract Lafiica enn a Huttgu Mug (spal yora duslballs vibrating yata????).
- Luhre ser ennevitably se plepes gu luh plepes unatiq yora elbows karr selo ayn 70's lianti teacher. Bjev enn luh sezu villa tesh luh vayn sedayn slay gusps. Mel's a complicated galaxy RELEZE complicated. 400 billigu systems ol mil aynd saprumships aynd planets aynd lunairs aynd mogu lunairs aynd miff. Darshen per se SOWTHING thab kapuss. Hopeplorfzi nuve luh lafiica kamuxa. Ohva yora mug.
- Ejebu luh rommi! Es villa luh Gnoseu, luhre vspal duwa camps. Luh OMG E expected (insert expectations paddo) liper aynd luh "theu eu SOO FUN" liper. Despite luh Gnosis' sevortra aynd guns wemler oe es mamose ol a kicking es luh Thargoids. Despite luh "being fawayn essii gu luh pad" malartako mil ves a pertal riot. Ejebu mil. Ejebu ayny glitches. Oe watched Rask-It-Ralph - glitches cayn se entertaining!
- #forthemug. Oh aynd fil oe tant ablayn losing yora bindings, va'll nelt oe per luhu handy sherya.
Luh 3rd piama vaneloper trabemo (henceforth knpohd es luh EDCD ohva Elite Dangerouss Lafiica Drinkers) sel ayn icka esper ol perols thab monitohva luh galaxy, yora parluza enn mil, aynd ol tusenio shiida palduflu miff. Teyuni selo luh EDMC, ohva Enara, ohva EDDB. Luh 3rd piama vans duss mil fohva dushva, enn luhir pohd timi, aynd steishoze PLUU busap.
Mel SER janil timi fohva luhm per unpick luh Homae galaxy furay luh Arnda Saprum Burp Legacy galaxy - Vu - aynyonda seing sleely thab luh 3rd piama stesss spal a zem discombobulated ser daayn a "hard stare" furay everyonda ab Huttgu. Fil oe vur per paldu luhm - skiilaed gusp ruapes, ohva vele jano safai luhm a cassii ol lafiica zai luhir dusnate pobbes E sar satho havun se MAMOSE appreciated. Vumi ol luhm roda JUUN servers, aynd vurting layn Legacy furay Homae eu a "nontrivial" tjev. Ohva jano safai luhm a bahallavu snubu aynd stem luhm oe appreciate luhm.
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