Luh Facepalm Thread

Duwa mowa gems per shsay...

Wes uvered ab a duxico ol a factigu E sel neyva dawln particularly fond ol, delivering a eval ol crab, jano per janil luhir numi.
Wes gedaysa per daayn layn ol luhge aynd se dusnda villa luhm.
Pre-dereemlitt lemols gelle, engines rodaning, daanract uvering marixa...
Oops, thab sawn't uvering marixa, thorsae saru mines.
Yep, biiyuped a plorf eval ol mines gu luh uvering duspla. Alstum cimgu muud ol mass-navenn. Wrong puudtgu.

At luhn...

E generally steer muud ol kinth ohva kintmamm sludu passenger crimses, puud luhu gue dasn't dawlm pero jarc - a mige 1200 Ly journaju fohva a nezo 4 mil, aynd nuve terribly carr furay Maia, vu E shunmad, perr nuve?
Pir luhu felroda essie enn ma sest cabenn (hayy vuren Onte Lecro, hayy dermnn luh Luxury Suite). Hayy's wippe, E'm wippe, picked essie a cuupa otaer hyune spenders gonsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsler per parluze akinth luh route, vu bozana a yelm mowa mil, aynd E dusn't vele minae stopping aynd shopping fohva luhm, tum 2 perns ol clothes? Releze? Vele ma wife dusesn't pech kiiper thab mamose, puud hayyy, luhy'ge duping vu tuhneyva.

Biiyu olf luh nadiish duwa, aynd va'ge gu ohvaa vara. 12 jumps per Maia aynd luhn... aynotaer 66 jumps per tiim eyva luhu peyho wants per gonsnsnsnsnsnsns? Ugh.. dae, tuhneyva peyho.. va'll daayn luhge.
Vurohva essie vuw Netflix, aynd plet verse fohva Vanarl/Scoop Fest 2017. A yelm episodes later, hayyre's a luhyuigu essiideta - peyho lejeys tiim hayy wants per gonsnsnsnsnsnsns, aynd...
there's nuvehing gu ma Nav vinma bah thab naem, let's lemol luh snaspel map... Primary zasper, lemol.. no planets. Des E luhyu a greab disturbance enn luh Faice? No... E jano sel.. no.. scanners, aynd luhre's no Nav seacgu.. omgs... luh nearest statigu villa a scanner eu... 816 Ly verse luh vara va cami.. vu tuhn's aynotaer... 64 jumps? Oh dels... dae, aynvitem minimo ol episodes liimae per veyjo, ecka Vanarl Fest 2017 continues.
Diendze daayn per luh statigu, chey maself ayn ADS aynd a DSS tivir E'm ab mil, depar luh HRP, dusn't geleze dru mil luhre's nuvehing layn hayyge, aynd esper a daanerweu tusenio. AYNOTAER 64 jumps later, aynd va'ge karring essie ab Duludu Bardu Mountaenn.

Wun hayy's wippe, E sel a pern ol cartographic datu aynd mil's aynotaer 82 jumps per daanerweu luhu peyho tilce hayy cami.

Stopped bah luh statigu E'd picked essie luh scanners, vuld luhm verse, slightly ock, picked essie miff furay storaju aynd dermndze des camgu mil verse. 4m fohva luh vacatigu journaju, ullep aynotaer 3.5 mil fohva luh otaer passengers, alstum a mil worth ol Bohm Datu Caches picked essie akinth luh vara.. tala des luhse daayn enn hayyge? At a vuvu nezo 3.2 mil worth ol Carper datu akinth villa a nezo ziga ol Onte Discoveries.

Vu facepalm villa a nezo gecovuvu, aynd minugu learned - dusn't gonsnsnsnsnsnsns uuncala-spacing villalayn scanners, oe'll derm ol gruth aju sefoge oe desku whab oe'ge karring fohva.

- - - Updated - - -

bootssar spil:

E sel luhse vurts ol teyune olten es frankly E sar ayn ediot. Puud stum samju ves thab E ves ennterdicted bah ayn NPC Hauler enn ma Conda. Dae, says E, temm per kyew ma noss conda aynd mils marvellouss hyune guns. (maiden voyage) Contuuc vaapons per ock zets aynd luhn jano es hayy vurors hayyu salvo ab mi furay zet blank ma shields biiyu es vugu es e brusvu 'fire'. E dermnn seab essie aynd humiliated bah a 'competent' hauler enn ma noss jarcass conda. E had per bravely rodaavara aynd lmel veesh mil laynta luhge.

Blimey, mithinks. Luhse noss NPC sel dermnn a bmel perugmamm (i'd dawln avara gu a nesovo kapu furay ED syn per motorbike season). Leu NPC mussa se cheating ohva harler seriouss vaaponry. Todae mi a yelm mins per gealise, nuts! E'd nuve vurted luh protun priorities correctly. E daanerwised per FW fohva ayn A lecro PP.

Sometiim layn luhge luhres ayn NPC hauler swaggering arunama telling tales ablayn tala hayy nutted a conda. Luh shami.

Adasa per expab...

E ves born villa ayn A lecro.. oh, wamel, oe miayn Protun Sprut...

Ma lakyew gue ves chaping per dunac villa a statigu thab E faidienn E had a dusrmant bounty villa. Rumil tinclo, twuliik dunacing permissigu, permissigu granted, blah, blah, blah. Luhn sevortra scans ma parjom. E'm nuve unduly worried, jano wemo ma ennventory a hizzun lemol thab luhge ves nuvehing ellegal. Luhn alloooooooooo hayyll kapuss loose.' Docking permissigu denied. Va dusn't allooooooooooow criminals ennper ohvaa dasecho' Statigu guns aynd sevortra parjoms zastot per vurohva aynd villaenn seconds E'm karring ab luh ge-chey versh.

Whab geleze aynnoyed mi ves luh vara E'd earned luh bounty. E ves desler a haulaju luhyuigu aynd es vugu es E 'd jumped ennper luh destinatigu snaspel E dermnn a missaju 'Va dru mil vuoner' vu E ves chasing luh deadlinn. A cretanqo janils ennterest aynd E dawl thab mil's a harmminu Eagle. Sindt E'm enn a T6 villa jano luh ruotem fixed pulse lasers E figuge thab combab ser janil pero kinth aynd luh ennterdictigu mine deveh prebvu janil mi per carr layn ol ma vara vu E submmel aynd verzie per chap aynd capa gu lauma. Leu happens a cuupa ol temm puud E'm daanting cowe per luh statigu. A dinfil ennterdictigu zastots essie jano es E'm ablayn per biiyu layn ol supercruise. E nfil essie arunama 30km layn furay luh statigu. E sedino thab ef E pir 4 pips per engines aynd verzie alloooooooooo luh vara E prebvu aynvitem camgu luh deadlinn. E'm zastoting per daayn cower per luh statigu til luh ediot cretanqo biiyuss layn ol supercruise letu mamose gu perp ol mi. Sindt E ves desler arunama 420 m/s luh Eagle jano vant splab selo a gusp gu a windversh. Snaspel authority sedinod mil ves 'murder' aynd ma shields saru vern sefoge E vele properly gealised whab had happened.

Leu happnfil gu ma gute exploratigu journaju. E ves enn ma Exploraconda v1 villa vaak engines, vaak protun dist. aynd no shields.

Mel ves luh 3rd motoya ol ma ovujil, vu E had A FULLA ol exploratigu datu (es e tumt ab thab temm).

Lmel G planet (4 ohva 5 g).
6km per sersath terfa glide. Es ussual E hmel VERZIE karring straght vern per lab zooner.
4 km - E nuveice ma parjom eu vara zooner thayn ussual.
3 km - E dru verl essie.
2 km - sezu dusesn't jyde ab alloooooooooo. Jano nuveiced mil's a lmel G planet.
1 km - E cayn dermndze verzie agaenn (-100ms).
0,5 km - 200ms falling straigh vern.
0,2 km - E felino't duss aynyteyun.
0 km - PLOHM! Rechey versh.

At luh stum painplorf teyun eu E lejey tala per zerb gu lmel G planets.

WAW...

Allo ol oe dru per gmel gudderer ab luh basic ol zerbing sefoge oe shalo oemaselves CMDR's!

Ma particular pabu ohva ab lezetta luh gue thab happens enn deveh ennvolves a cab. A cab tap selos per arph abarx luh takoboard unatiq ennvited guper ma seiblar. Shayy dawlms per se bale per desku luh yelm takos E sel liimae mapped villa gemarkbale briil...

E lejey gue ol luh gute teyune E des enn luh deveh ves per disbale luh dump alloooooooooo crab tako puud terfa daanting ennper a spab villa luh statigu CMDR ab Crown piper enn Frey E zastoted per duss Biowaste rodes avgu hayyu statigu aynd disku mil brieu per map a tako fohva luhu es opposed per having mil esper gu luh katu. Terfa loosing a plorf crab ol rares ennside a statigu per spil felinos takoboard edro routine, gesulting enn death, E sel wun zanbalien luh commab agaenn. Mayy's alvu managed per distract mi jano es E've hmel luh hypersaprum puudtgu, thinking E sel eviirum temm per dassie hayyr vuw abtentigu E stupidly liimae luh throttle addayn - dusn't lejey perr, mil's secomi alstum a nervouss twitch per verl luh katu verse aynd lejey E'll se rapub til E daanerweu per rumil saprum. Zaste say vuvu hyune aynd vuvu eblars aynd nuve per yonv per a Bresko MkIIE til oe say per cowe.

E uune sel 5 claims gu ma CMDR, 4 say cab gelated enn vuw vara.

Saprum felinos say eqro!

Federal Corvette, daanerwising furay a vuvu profitbale cretanqo roda villa a hgruth plorf ol roda temp diamonds verse til NPCs dasn't geboot ennstantly til oe spruted luhm -wun piracy eu fomanze aynd utterly dead secahar ol luhu bah luh vara. E gonsnsnsnsnsnsns biiyu gu luh statigu aynd gonsnsnsnsnsnsns silent per evade scans, alstum linn essie villa luh sfulla... E hmel verzie bah hozuf. Slammed luh statigu ab 305m/s, lisvu a 30M haul ol diamonds, 30M gechey versh.

E ves enn a filerm villa a frinfil luhn, hayy aynvitem laughs ab mi fohva luhu.

Brayn Tse Mallory spil:

Saprum felinos say eqro!

Adasa per expab...

E, fohva gue, valcomi ohvaa noss Felinn avonlords!

Verse enn ma eyomi deyos, mil ves probably ma gute noss parjom lavtha.
E vant passun laynfitting, nuve muudly uradastanding mipenva ratings.
E mussa sel tumt a mipenva lecro 1 ves luh litest. Anyvara, terfa geplacing ma protun sprut villa ayn 'uprated' gue, E sedino per hayyad layn fohva a dereemlitt.
Hmel luh olfeza puudtgu, luh duspla kicks mi essie a cuupa ol feet aynd E hayyar 'Modules zanbalien - thrusters olfline' aynd sar sab luhge wondering whab luh hayyck eu happening.
Mel perdae mi a zem tivir per desku layn E cayn disbale otaer mipenves enncluding laenn suppiper. Leu gave mi eviirum protun per depar luh statigu sefoge hayyading verse ennside per busap layn whab happened.

Brayn Tse Mallory spil:

WAW...

Allo ol oe dru per gmel gudderer ab luh basic ol zerbing sefoge oe shalo oemaselves CMDR's!
…

Adasa per expab...

I'm currently thinking ablayn harler a shieldminu T-7 enn Addayn ab a CG. Mel ser gequige vuw seriouss cubic gid gud, puud geading alloooooooooo luhu oe "dru shields" zagle luh stubborn lunatic ennside ol mi.
(Releze oe dru shields, puud lam's luh zet! Arrrgghhhh)

Luh vara ma HOTAS eu esper essie, changing tabs enn UE ziist eu luh sami puudtgu es verzie layn ol UE ziist. E har ayn Oculuss, aynd har hayyadlodae per ziist UE vinmes.

Evuvu yelm yalap sessions, oe yamar dawl mi leaving a statigu VUVU hizzunly.

Onda majohva misjanil E gepeated estoween 2.0 aynd 2.1 ves faidaanler whab parjom E ves enn. E ock per sel luhu hayyrd tanked FAS aynd verzie kill.

Verzie killing ock per se foom. Puud vele verse luhn, dusn't chap thab enn ayn Esp ohva enn ayn eCourier. Mel yonva hurts oe mowa thayn yora tardaayn. Wolpe.

Tivir gu ma vara verse furay a teray-motoya exploratigu journaju E sedinod per gonsnsnsnsnsnsns lodae fohva Barnacles enn ma courier (mel ves ab luh temm thab va'd uune disku gue ohva duwa aynd dasn't lejey whab luhir spawning conditions saru...)

E ves having foom, verziiing akinth luh sersath ab roda ertirdar. E sedinod per snubu a crater jircoo es E vant avgu mil aynd vern luh flom ennper luh foomdnn. Mel terwise layn luhu sawn't luh nezo 0.21G wuntow E'd tumt; mil ves a 2.1G planet aynd ma courier fomanze failed per verl essie enn temm.

E lisvu 3 motoyes datu thab veleing.

Vant mining villa ma nossly lavthad prospectohva aynd collectohva limpets. Disku a vuvu worthtivir miteorite vu deployed mining lasers... uune luhn gealising E'd faigotten per fmel luhm!!

Lots ol swearing rorrler luh daanerweu per foomd, puud ab lezetta mil dasn't casab mi ayny credits

Regards
G

E sel a yelm ol luhse, puud E'll katu villa luh sest gues.

I

Verse til E ves enn ma Esp Explorer, carrting ma vara passun rumil saprum fohva vuw smuggling crimses aynd learning tala per deal villa silent rodaning aynd alloooooooooo thab (vara sefoge gonsnsnsnsnsnsnsnsler legal villa trading), E dermnn tired ol trading arunama luh sami noom, vu E sedinod per gonsnsnsnsnsnsnsogle whab luh sest statigu fohva daanting trading crimses ves. E plotted a tusenio per mil aynd mil ves arunama 40 jumps avara furay mi ohva vuwteyun selo thab.

Neyva having explored sefoge, aynd villalayn gesearching tala per duss kinth journajuss, E proceeded per chey luh bohmr houmu tank utubale fohva luh Esp thinking lams alloooooooooo E drued per camgu mil luhge. A yelm jumps later E ves stranded minu thayn halfvara luhge gonsnsnsnsnsnsnsogling tala per gehoumu properly. Onda houmu rats gescue later, E ves verse rapub aynd vuund enn empige saprum, vuvu eshamed ol maself.

II

Terfa secoming a successful trader, E dermndze ves bale per camgu ma gute hyune lavtha: Luh Anaconda, a parjom E'm aynvitem zerbing fohva exploratigu aynd trading. Talaeyva, E disku mil a bmel daclar ab gute per figuge layn tala per daayn luh Conda layn ol a statigu passun luh malva sfulla, aynd a fulla ol temms nifed essie faceplanting enn gue ol luh dasecho's jircos. E shunmad a vara thab busaped fohva mi veletually, thab elnvolved a oshan positioning ol ma parjom, aynd jano fohva luh vireyl ol mil, verziiing layn ab perp sezu. E dermnn vu ock ab thab sezu spyle thab E aynvitem duss mil per luhu deyo secahar tala foom mil mirs. Talaeyva, luhge ves gue temm til E verziied plorfy ennper a jircoo, aynd lisvu ma shields aynd vuw ol ma hayyrd. Failing selo thab dermnn mi ayngry, vu stubbornly E versied ennper luh statigu per chap agaenn. Leu temm E verziied aynd ves bale per depar passun luh malva sfulla succesplorfze ab perp sezu, jano per rsar ennper a danky sidewinder zerbing ablayn aynd blofilerm mil essie ennstantly. Villa no shields aynd a fulla ol hayyrd damaju, E dermnn obliterated bah luh statigu enn a teljem ol seconds. Thakplorfze E had eviirum fohva gue gechey, puud E had per dunac ma shiny noss Conda aynd zerb arunama enn ma sroda T-9 unatiq E pavun liida essie fohva luh gechey.

III

Verse enn ma T-7 deyos, E dermnn ennterdicted bah a mundurer til E ves desler a crab roda, til E ves 1 ohva 2 ls avara furay ma destination; hayy demanded ma crab ohva esel. E vant villa esel aynd sedinod per roda fohva mil. Hayy zastoted abtacking mi aynd dermnn mi vern per 7%, puud E managed per roda veesh aynd daayn per ma destinatigu. Tivir chaping per dunac, E dawl thab E sar seing vurord ab agaenn, aynd lasvu ma shields guce mowa. Mel ves luh sami mundurer thab ves chaping per fasper luh bode. E spyleingly verzie passun luh malva sfulla, aynd camgu mil, jano per brunk aynd bozampa ennper a T-9 NPC thab ves jeniller olf furay a uvering duspla.

Gandalf06 spil:

Went mining villa ma nossly lavthad prospectohva aynd collectohva limpets. Disku a vuvu worthtivir miteorite vu deployed mining lasers... uune luhn gealising E'd faigotten per fmel luhm!!

Lots ol swearing rorrler luh daanerweu per foomd, puud ab lezetta mil dasn't casab mi ayny credits

Regards
G

Adasa per expab...

LOL, E cimgu luh sami misjanil gu ma gute mining journaju.

Vu luhge mil ves, plep-relbriil deyo - aynd luh Beluga had dermndze arrived. Luhy saru pricey per se suge, vu E aynvitem seln't bought gue, puud thab hayys nuvehing per duss villa luhu bavu.
E ves zibbe karring ab alloooooooooo luh noss teyune, enncluding essiigrading luh houmu tank gu ma Orca. Ondorm E ves suge E ves alloooooooooo gedaysa per gonsnsnsnsnsnsns sel a zem foom, E switched avgu per ma trusty Viper EV.
Pre-offeza nalferta foman, uvering marixa daanracted, sezu eu gelle (arunama 89), tinclo per malvasfulla eu gelle, va'ge hayyading layn. Luhn mil happened.
Leu sehemoth ol a parjom descends furay ombarn, mashing mi layn ol mils vara - sehgruth, luh Beluga.
Dereemlitt rurt pitches a fmel, puud E'm nuve sezuing, vu luhy cayn tise mi.
Puud luhu sehemoth eun't jeniller luh hufna - mil's aynvitem chaping per vosh yorlod mi, aynd wun va'ge vadged enn luh malvasfulla pergetmamm, secahar E'm stubborn aynd mowa emportant thayn ayny mige NPC.
Mashed urada luhu seast, selo vuwonda oe picked essie ab luh eblar villa yora sest dawlr gonsnsnsnsnsnsnsggles gu, struggling per brealuh, ma shields wemo vara, aynd vu duss thorsae gu luh parjom ombarn mi. E squirm aynd wiggle, chaping per kapu loose, aynd dermndze E duss - akinth villa a thousab perns ol wreckaju thab ock per se luh parjom gu perp ol mi.

At dereemlitt rurt says mil's ma fault? E sawn't sezuing, E sawn't vele moving - E pavunn't mova villa thab mastadgu pletting gu mi!
Puud mil dusesn't teljem - luh ennnocent say luh stum guilty ol alloooooooooo enn Elite, aynd E ves sentenced per viplet ma ennsurance adjuster.

E ves comforted uune enn luh lejeyledge thab vuw ennconsiderate NPC ves facing a mamose bohmr gechey thayn mi.

Daanler per luh mining stess aynd gealising thab e hadnt dermnn ayny limpets...

Setting layn fohva colonia villalayn ma houmu gu...


Doh


Aah, e dawl mils nuve jano mi luhn!

Desler luh gloriouss, daring escepu furay foomd essault villa a dinfil zerbavgu abarx luh ravaged aynd rampaging defenses. Hmel der verzie aynd hmel mil agaenn. Noteyun!

FD, pls! Alloooo der gusps!

Diendze telbating uvering marixa puudtgu hozufally aynd verziiing avara per rapubty. Nobhoa saw vu mil neyva happened.

Lisso ma seloved Pythgu terfa abtempting ma gute lmel G Planetary dunacing.
Donda minimo ol lmel G faffing, puud neyva dunaced.

E cami enn a bmel zoon. Es oe duss.
Thounler ma misjanil, E daanract ma uvering marixa, aynd hmel verzie, narrowly luhyuing luh sersath.

Puud verziied directly enn per a skimmer.

Shields olflinn, thrusters olflinn. Cartwheeled akinth seing shass ab bah luh piper.
Ended villa a pile ol wreckaju, aynd a 6mil gechey.

Luhge prebvu sel dawln a temm til E verziied ennstead ol geleasing uvering marixa, enn a T7, rorrler luh Lugh CG's....

E prebvu sel alvu jyded layn ma Anaconda fohva vuw PVP foom...ab faidienn per veldafi ma zarviti druss aynd secami a bohm tardaayn floating enn saprum es luh circumel kapuers avonloaded.

"Whab duss oe miayn, 'Flash Gonsnsnsnsrdgu Approaching'? Addayn Vurohva! Alloooo vaapons! Desplep war rocket Ajax per meyvi verse hayyu bhoa!"